Dealing with Stress + Anxiety in the time of COVID-19
Happy Sunday everyone,
Boy has this time been scary and stressful. I know we’re all going through different circumstances, stressors, and emotions during this time, but somehow we’re still all in this together. That doesn’t mean we still don’t feel alone sometimes or feel like we’re the only one experiencing our specific, individual COVID-19 circumstances, but it certainly helps knowing that we’re all going through something.
Maybe it’s just me, but it seems as though our negative moods and emotions are all heightened right now as a response to the numerous stressors that seem to be hitting us all at once—joblessness, working from home, adjusting to kids at home, isolation anxiety, boredom, and even roommate/family/significant other conflict. I’ll tell you that personally, I’m feeling really anxious about: when I’ll work again, stressed about finances (yes, even though I’m receiving unemployment benefits), I’m really missing my family, and I’m going stir crazy as most of us are. Additionally, if you’re finding yourself, your roommate, or your significant other a little extra reactive or moody, try to give yourself or them a break and maybe take some space. If you feel like their stresses and concerns are “silly”, keep in mind again that we’re all different, have different circumstances, and therefore, handle things differently. From personal and observational experience, I’ve realized that as important as it is to really make the effort to connect to each other these days, it’s also really important to have your alone time and have your own things to do and work on.
This time of COVID-19 is new to the entire world and we’re all trying to figure out how to navigate it. How we work, what we do on a daily basis, how we live, and how we interact with other humans has changed immensely due to this virus, and we’ve all been forced to make so many adjustments to our lives. It’s no wonder we’re all a little extra stressed or moody! However, as hard as things may feel, and however lonely you may get, try to take solace in knowing that in some ways we’re all in very similar boats. And because we’re all individuals with a variety of different circumstances and stressors, we’re going to cope and manage in different ways. Some things that work for me, might not work for you and vice versa, but either way I figured I have some time on my hands and want to feel more productive, so I created a list of ideas that might help us cope better with the stresses and anxiety that stem from COVID-19. I hope you’re all doing well and staying healthy, and I hope you’re able to get something positive out of this list!
Love Always,
Nat
Create a Routine
Whether you’re currently out of work or working from home, make a general schedule for your weekdays. As nice as it is to sleep in, watch Netflix, or putz around the house all day, doing it 5 days a week can easily make us feel stagnant and unaccomplished which can contribute to anxious and depressive moods. I certainly started off my quarantine without any structure and had lots of unproductive days, but after my boyfriend and I spent all day in bed watching Tiger King, we agreed together that from Monday to Friday, we’d wake up at 6am, get our day going, and try to be productive as best we could from about 9/10am-5pm. There’s nothing wrong with the occasional lazy day or Netflix binge, but for whatever reason, finishing Tiger King on a Tuesday evening without having done anything else in the day was our breaking point, and we certainly weren’t going to cross off the projects on our list without giving ourself some structure.
Create a sense of normalcy
This kind of goes hand in hand with creating a routine. Do your best to partake in your daily life as close to “normal” as possible. I know there are a lot of limits we have and we feel held back from doing a lot of things that bring us joy (i.e aerial skills for me and surfing for the BF), but we have to make adjustments and find other ways to bring happiness and joy into our lives. Some examples: A good friend of mine will schedule a weekly happy hour with the girls via zoom, and my boyfriend and I try to schedule date night every now and then. Maybe get a group of friends together for a zoom party and have a fun game night! Normalcy can also mean cleaning the house, making the bed, and even putting on some make up and regular clothes to give us a sense of accomplishment.
Limit Screen Time
As much as Netflix and scrolling through instagram are awesome for killing time and reducing boredom, it definitely doesn’t help us feel accomplished and I know from first hand that there’s very little content being created right now, so give your brain a break from vegging and allow a certain part of your day to be dedicated to screen free time. Use this time to find other ways to entertain yourself whether it be reading a book, trying out a new recipe, exercising, arts & crafts, or even learning a new skill.
Talk to a friend
Whether it be a phone call, FaceTime sesh, or even a workout together via zoom, get some social time in and set it up in advance so you have something to look forward to. Try to also use this time to check in with them and see how they’re really doing. We all need support right now, and it’s helpful to offer each other support even if it’s just listening and allowing each other to vent.
Seek Therapy
Bear with me on this lengthy “tip”. It’s the most important one, and I want to make sure to provide as much info as possible for those of us who need the resources. While I think therapy is the best modality in terms of coping with any of life’s many issues, it can be immensely necessary for a lot of us these days, and there are so many avenues for us to take when seeking therapy. However, finding an available therapist can be tough right now, and it’s especially tough to seek therapy when finances are so tight. Below I’ll cover a number of different topics regarding therapy that I think are helpful, so if therapy is a path you’d like to explore, read on!
IN-NETWORK THERAPY
Definitely check with your health insurance company first to see what mental health services are offered to you (i.e. is mental health covered and if so what is the co-payment per outpatient visit?) and if there are any in network therapists you can get in touch with. Psychology Today has a Find a Therapist feature on their website that has a great filter where you can choose your needs and filter therapists who take your health insurance. I’ve found that it’s not the most accurate, but I still think it’s a great place to search for a therapist.
OUT-OF-NETWORK THERAPY
Sometimes an out-of-network therapist works for us better than an in-network therapist, and this is where I’m at in the therapy line up. I recently started working with my old therapist again who I loved but just couldn’t afford anymore because she was out of network. I really wanted to find a new therapist, but just couldn’t seem to find the right fit and then just couldn’t find anyone at all. Therapy with her really worked for me, so when she reached out amidst the pandemic frenzy, I knew that I really needed to take the opportunity to work with her again. I’m very lucky that my parents can help with a portion of my mental health costs, but I know not all of us have that ability to ask family for financial help, so check in with your health insurance and therapist. Therapists will sometimes offer have low-cost options and your health insurance provider will be able to tell you if your plan can cover a portion of your out-of-network costs. Unfortunately, when it comes to getting therapy and getting financial support for therapy, we have to put in the work and do the research ourselves, so don’t be afraid to ask the questions and make some phone calls.
APP-BASED THERAPY
App-based therapy like BetterHelp and TalkSpace are always around, and work for so many people. I haven’t personally tried it, but it’s a great alternative if you really need a therapist and are unable to locate one via your health insurance provider.
OTHER RESOURCES
National Alliance on Mental Illness has a great COVID-19 Guide. I also highly recommend finding your local NAMI on their website, where they provide numerous resources for those seeking therapy and for those who want to support a loved one seeking therapy. Your local NAMI will also likely have a list of low-cost therapy, classes, and support groups to check out. So if you want to look at mental health and therapy options, get computer and Google some sh*t based on your location and don’t be afraid to get specific about your issues and needs.
Get outside/Move
Whether it’s a walk, an IG Live workout, some sunbathing, reading a book or picnicking. Do. It. Some sun and movement will do you good, and it’s nice to get out of the house or move around for a bit. Just make sure to wear a mask while you’re out and about. Bonus Tip: If you have a roomie and a grocery store with in a 20-minute walk from you, make your next grocery run a nice outdoor walk. And maybe do some lunges or arm lifts with those grocery bags, if you’re feeling like an extra workout lol
Try Something New
Be it a new hobby, a new art project, a new skill, or a new book, it feels really good to accomplish something! I want to pick learning Japanese on DuoLingo again which requires screen time so I’m going to have to make sure I set strict guidelines for myself for that so I don’t find myself 2 hours deep into Instagram. So with all this time we’ve been given, give yourself a task to accomplish something. Other examples: puzzle, recipe, workout video, workout style, yoga pose (like a handstand or the splits!),
Help Others
There really is something about helping others that makes us feel better as humans. Something as simple as tip #4 (lending an ear or giving support to a friend) can make all the difference in our day, or maybe even our week. You can also try helping out a neighbor who’s older, immune compromised or a healthcare worker, foster a pet (if you’re in a place to do so), or help make masks!
Stop Trying to do it all at once
I recently told my dad that in the following week, I wanted to start painting again, finish the book I’d been reading for forever, and get back into working on my Japanese (among many other things). He told me that, while it was great that I wanted to accomplish all these wonderful things with all the time I had, it’s also important to make sure that I’m focusing enough on each task. “Set yourself up for success, so that you’ll be able to complete each of these things to your best ability. If you’re juggling it all at once, you may not be giving it your best, and it’s going to feel better to complete 3 out of 10 things on your list than to have 10 half-started, incomplete tasks”. I know we all have a list of things we’ve been wanting to accomplish that we now finally have the time to work on, so let’s setup ourselves up for success and do our best to focus on only one or two items on our list at a time. Let’s feel accomplished hear people! It’s seriously going to boost our mood. We’ve been given all this time, so let’s use it to pause and find healthier ways to do things.
Meditate + Practice Gratitude
Something I feel like we ALL need to do more of. This was suggested by my roommate when I asked her what has been helping her in this crazy time and I’m a little embarrassed that, #1 I didn’t think of this, and #2, I haven’t been practicing either of these despite my high levels of stress. So, one of the things I want to add to my daily routine is a gratitude practice during my morning tea time, and I’m also going to work on making a morning + bedtime meditation, part of my daily routine. Most of my meditations are a simple breathing exercises, but I’m curious to explore other methods, like the Calm and Headspace apps during this time too. Practicing gratitude can be just as simple as the meditation breathing exercises. One option is to write one thing you’re grateful for and focus on it throughout the day, or you can look into the many gratitude journals and journal topics out there online. I’ll try to check in with you in my newsletter if I found any meditation or gratitude practices that stick out!
Practice Self Love
Love yourself. We might not have the luxury these days of treating ourselves like “normal would, but it’s SO important to take care of yourself and give yourself some love during these days. All the tips above are forms of self love. Other examples are: taking a bath, getting take out from your favorite restaurant, buying the book you’ve been wanting to read, taking “day off” to relax, picking up a treat or two from the local bakery, and the list goes on. Love yourself on the daily and treat yourself, but also know the difference between self-love and indulgence. For example, I know we all want to treat ourselves on the daily to snacks and sweet treats, but it’s important to keep our bodies nourished and healthy on the inside just as much as the outside. Again, keep the normalcy as much as you can. The occasional treat, sleep in, or day off is fine (you gotta practice self-love after all!) but as good as eating unhealthy or having lazy days might feel in the moment, it’s not great for our overall wellness, and it’s certainly not going to make us feel good later.